Day 23

Day 23 - Something you crave for a lot

Hmm! Did you see yesterdays post? About these guys?

Yea! I crave those. A lot.

Also these

And last, but certainly not least

Hunter's Day

It's hard for me to believe that 4 years ago today, I was in the hospital (still waiting at 1:51PM) for my little Squirt to be born. At this point, we were confident he would be born that day, but we had already had a difficult journey with the whole labor/delivery process.

Hunter's birth story started on October 30th, 2006. It was a Monday. Chase had Monday's off at the time - and we had a full day planned. We were 2 weeks from our due date (November 11th). We drove to the fire station and had them install the car seat in Chase's Audi and give Chase a lesson on how to do it properly so he could repeat in my car. I had a routine checkup that afternoon. Everything was going swell - although our doctor started discussing with us the fact that she would be out of town for a few days before my due date. Ideally, she wanted to induce me on Nov. 6th to insure she did not miss our delivery. We had all assumed at this point in time I would go past my due date. Having a baby earlier sounded great to me! I was DONE being pregnant.

During our ultrasound (I had many of them as I had low amniotic fluid throughout my pregnancy) she noticed again that our fluid was approaching dangerously low. She wanted us to induce that night. At that point in time, I didn't really understand what an "induction" was - all I knew was that I wanted my baby and I wanted him NOW. After confirming with us that we wouldn't mind if our baby was born on Halloween (no way, I thought it would be super cool!), she scheduled us to come back at 8PM. Chase and I continued our plans for the day, and went and saw The Prestige. I don't remember a single thing about that movie - my mind and heart were doing flips and back flips as I anticipated Squirt making his entrance the very next day!

We went home and made the last minute additions to our hospital bags (which were...half way packed or so). Chase ate dinner. I stared at some Raman Noodles (in retrospect, I should have eaten! A lot!) And then, we headed off to the hospital, anxious as can be.

When I was checking into L&D, the nurses started freaking out! They were looking at their charts and notebooks, trying to figure out what doctor had scheduled a premature delivery. I had to point out to them that I was 38 weeks, and despite my tiny belly, I was ready to have a full term baby. I think their sighs of relief were audible. Anyways, we got settled in and they inserted a pill (Cytotec) near my cervix that supposedly would soften things up down there while simulating contractions. I was dilated to 0.

Throughout that first night, I had contractions on and off. I didn't sleep very much, or very well. My back hurt. A lot. At the time, I wasn't sure if it was back labor, or if it was just the bed and my preggo belly - it was definitely contractions and back labor. At 4AM, they started me on Pitocin - the drug that jump starts labor. They told Chase and I that they would continually increase it (if I needed it) until they reached a certain "limit." I don't know the numbers - although I'm sure my husband does.

We had a few visitors throughout that day. My mom's work told her to take the day off as she needed to be with me - so she spent the entire day with us - and others popped in and out. Although I was still in pain for the majority of the day, it wasn't anything unmanageable. The hardest part that I remember is that I wasn't allowed any food - just broth and ice chips. Yum! My doctor came in and out throughout the day to check on my progress - Unfortunately, I just wasn't making any, regardless of the fact she broke my water early in the day. I had some wonderful nurses though that were trying to attempt to help me along. I believe they manually dilated me to a 2 sometime on Tuesday. As the day progressed, the amount of Pitocin they were pumping into me increased as well.

By Tuesday night, I had made very little progress. They decided to insert a foley catheter. It's job is to slowly inflate a balloon dealy with water right up against your cervix. Let me tell ya...it's not very comfortable. No, let me rephrase that. It's awful. Completely horrendous. I sang my ABC's to get me through my contractions (no, I didn't learn that at my birthing classes, I came up with it all on my own, spur of the moment!). They told our guests that we wouldn't have a baby that night (I might have cried), so they should go home and call and check in the morning. Around 11 that night, my night nurse came and told me that I really needed to get some sleep. UM YA! Like that was going to happen...I was still singing my ABCs through very, very painful contractions. She said our doctor insisted that I get some sleep, and we needed to do whatever was necessary to make that happen...so, she brought in the narcotics! For 10 minutes at a time, every 25 minutes, I felt blissfully wonderful and was able to sleep. And then the pain came back with such force it woke me up and brought me to tears every time. Chase was dead asleep at this point in time - lucky him! After a few rounds of that, our nurse told me it just wasn't working, and we needed an epidural. I really didn't want one as I hadn't really dilated at all (I wasn't opposed to having an epidural, just didn't want one until I was further along)- but they really wouldn't give me a choice in the matter at the point. Chase woke up. And a few hours later, we met Malcolm. He's the only part of our staff who I remember clearly (aside from our doctor) - and it was 3AM, 31 hours into labor! Malcolm was hilarious - and although I had never had an anesthesiologist before, he was definitely the best I ever had! He made jokes constantly while inserting a needle into my back. Chase still won't describe the needle to me, and that's probably a good thing. And after Malcolm left, life was just SO much better. I fell asleep and other than being checked on every hour or so, it was a great rest of the night. Ahh. Love epidurals!

The next morning, our guests arrived again. Our doctor arrived. We were all ready for her to check my progress and tell me I slept through the rest of my labor and that I was almost ready to push. Ha! She told me I was 2. Still. Still. Still. Still a 2. It was heart breaking. Especially since I had had pretty much constant contractions since early in the day Tuesday.

They raised the Pitocin. Throughout Wednesday, they continued to raise it. By Wednesday afternoon, it was so high that they had gone over their "limit" for how much Pitocin they would give me. My heart rate was becoming irregular. I was dizzy and pretty out of it. I felt incredibly drugged. I didn't really understand what was happening at that point. A nurse kindly dilated me to a 3. With an epidural, that was a much better experience than the first time around.

Around 4, my doctor came to check me. Still a 3. She gave us two choices - A. Continue what we were doing. Check in a few hours. If I wasn't dilated more, we would have a C-Section. B. Go have the C-Section right then. As she told us her choices, I was crying, more and more. I didn't really want to have a C-Section. I also really didn't want to keep doing what we were doing. I wanted a choice C, but of course, there isn't really one of those. I didn't know what to decide. I was a mess. I was sobbing. My heart rate sky rocketed. So did Squirt's. Chase stepped in, took the doctor into the hall and told her we needed to have a C-Section now. He was becoming increasingly worried about me and Hunter throughout that afternoon. I was so out of it and loopy. I'm so happy he made that decision for us - it was a decision was I unable to make, and I needed him to step up then and he did. They got us prepped for surgery and away we went.

After a routine C-Section with no complications (other than the typical shaking, trembling, shivering and throwing up), Hunter Logan was born at 5:36PM on Wednesday, November 1st, 2006 - 45 hours after labor started. Chase was able to see him immediately, cut his cord, and hold him right away. He brought him to me as soon as he could (I spent some time afterwards puking in a bed pan) - I was able to see him, touch him, and give him a kiss. They took Chase and Hunter away as they finished sewing me back up. It was only 14 minutes from the time Hunter was born until they were ready to wheel me out of surgery - but to me, it felt like a small lifetime. I really thought hours had gone by. All I wanted was to go see how Hunter was. I wanted to hold him SO bad. When they finally wheeled me out of the room, I looked at the clock and it was 5:50PM. After getting back into my room, Chase brought me Hunter and I was FINALLY able to hold my baby and feed him. It was a wonderful moment, and right then, nothing else mattered.

Hunter was an incredibly healthy little boy, who did wonderfully on his APGAR tests. In the hospital, he barely cried at all. He was content, and completely at ease with his new world. The first night was tough for me as Hunter's bassinet was clear across the room from me -and even though he slept, and I was exhausted, I just stared at his bassinet. I couldn't really see him. I didn't really know that he was okay. I was very worried. Chase was getting some much needed sleep. And I just continued to stare -unable to move to go check on him. Finally, a nurse came and asked me if I wanted her to take him to the nursery. Although I really didn't, I needed to sleep, and there was nothing I could do for Hunter from my bed, so I let her. They brought him in to me every few hours to feed - but other than that, he spent the night in the nursery. Although it makes me a little bit sad, I was thankful for that, and I needed it.

The next morning, I was able to get up and walk around, eat breakfast, and start recovering. My recovery went very well, and I had little pain. We spent the next 2 days at the hospital (with Hunter rooming with us for the rest of our stay), and were finally able to go home on Saturday.

While I don't regret or have bad feelings over my labor, I know that it will never happen again. Our next child will either come on his/her own or I will have a scheduled C-Section. Either way is fine with me - I just know that being induced was not for me. In the end, I got a healthy, wonderful baby boy - but the means to get there weren't good for anyone.

Whew!

What a weekend it has been in our house already! Between Halloween and Hunter's birthday, we've been busy, busy, busy! Two things (aside from a post of ISO) are coming soon - Hunter's birthday post, as well as a birth story post - something I relive every year to remind myself why I hated being pregnant. It's makes a little bit happier to remind myself of that when I'm angry at other things. :) Anywho's keeping up with 30 days of blogging...

Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

I don't see myself marrying anyone other than my husband. I haven't seen that for a long, long time -even if we were states away and not in a relationship for a long period of time. Even if I was in other relationships - it always came down to the fact that he wasn't Chase. No one was ever going to be the same as my Chase. I told Chase soon after we met that we were going to get married someday - at 18, he thought I was crazy. Guess I'm not so crazy after all!

Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy

For me, when my husband brings me home a Slurpee, it's like he's brought me flowers or jewelery. I know he was thinking about me, and wanting to do something special for me. Slurpees get me every time! I love them! I'm pretty sure I'm going to go get one now - who cares if it's 8AM. It's 5:00 somewhere?? :)

Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else

A lot of things! I'll start with the fact that Chase I didn't do this "conventionally." I was pregnant with Hunter at 20 - I was freaked out when I told Chase I was pregnant - so scared he was going to leave me (I did give him that option). But what Chase did next describes the basis for the next 5 years of our life - when I told him, he asked me why I was crying. He told me I didn't need to be crying - that it was okay - we would make it work. And we have. We waited two years to get married - we didn't want to marry because of Hunter - we wanted to marry for us -and we did. I see a lot of couples marrying because of getting pregnant - and while I've seen it work out - I've also seen it not work out - and knew it wasn't for us. We were lucky enough to live with my parent's for the first 18 months of Hunter's life while we saved our money. Because of their generosity, we were able to buy our first house when I was 22 and Chase was 23. And, since I was pregnant - I've felt that it was important to me to stay with my son at home for as long as possible. Through some creative thinking, and my business adventures, it's worked out well thus far. We might not always have everything we want - but we have everything we need - for now, that's plenty!

My camera has a manual mode?

Ah! My first photography post - and we have Little Monkey Bizness to thank for it. Nothing like entertaining the kiddos (ie: Hunter and Saxon) with jumping, bouncing, sliding, and climbing while I sit, drink my iced caramel macchiato (do you know how long it just took me to spell macchiato?) and blog.

My parents were wonderful enough to see that I might actually have talent for taking pictures and invested in my future with my first digital SLR camera in 2005 - it was a Canon XT Rebel (which I also tried to purchase for myself, and got scammed...that shall be a story for another day). Anyways, on a trip back to visit, my Dad went out and put my camera on his business card and thus, Mom and Dad got me started into my future. I had never used a SLR before - I had never really taken actual photography classes before - all I knew was that I liked taking pictures. So, for the first years (it's embarrassing to admit) I took pictures in automatic mode. Ahh! I know. I cringe thinking about it today...but it's only shows how much I've grown.

When I first realized my camera had a "manual mode" I was trying to take pictures of Christmas lights. Another photographer helped me to start learning outside of automatic mode and I successfully took some pictures of Christmas lights that year. (Please excuse this photo - it was stolen from my Myspace account - I'll load the actual, much better quality version of it when I'm not at Monkey Bizness).

Since then, I've been learning more and more about things like ISO, white balance, aperture, and shutter speed. And I'm going to start telling all of YOU about those things so, if you're an automatic mode shooter too, you can start to learn how to cringe when someone says "automatic." It's almost like learning to drive a stick (which I can't do, btw).

Nowadays, I will shoot in automatic mode ONLY if I find myself in a desperate situation where I know my camera manual settings are all over the place due to taking a crazy shot and I need to get a picture taken RIGHT THAT SECOND.

So if you need help learning the different modes of your camera, stay tuned. Tutorials coming soon!

Day 19

Day 19 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them

I have had a lot of nicknames through the years! Holly is an easy name to nickname I think.

When I was little, my Mom would call me HollyWolly or Little Miss Hollywood and my Dad would call me HollyDolly. My sisters and Mom always called me Holly Kristina (not my name - it's Holly Kristeen. My brother-in-law used to call me HollyMolly.

In high school, I was "Hollah" and that lasted through a few Best Buy's - and now, I'm mostly just Holly, or Mommy.

Chase has always called me Crazy - he thinks I am - I am not. Lately, he's taken to referring to me as a dead fish - I'm hoping that one doesn't last long. For the record, he calls me dead fish because I'm always cold.

I've gotten bad at this "daily" stuff

Day 16 - Another picture of yourself

I don't really like posting pictures of just me...but, if you're going to insist, this was taken while snorkeling in the Dominican Republic. My hair was really long then - I almost miss it. Almost.

Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

This answer is going to be a little bit lame - I'll warn you now - but there is a blogger out there by the name of MckMama. In the blogging world, she's a bit of a household name. I've been following her for a long time - I believe her for a long time. But slowly, with a lot of things she said, she started to contradict herself. A lot. Things seemed to be "off." So, then, I started researching, and came across another blog site that has a lot of proof that she lies continuously. It made me a little bit mad - because I loved her. But, she just won't come out and admit the truths - so, I'd like to switch lives with her for one day, so I could come clean for her. It can't be fun living a life full of lies when you're being called out on it...and I don't want to ruin her life (it seems she's done enough of that on her own), but, I think everyone who followed her for years and years should be told the truth.

Day 18 - Plans/dreams/goals you have

I have a lot of plans and goals. Here's just a few:

*Have another child

*Don't ever put my kids in daycare

*Go to Austrailia and New Zealand

*Go sailing with my husband

*Continue to grow my business

*Read as much as humanly possible

*Own a small dog

*Own a house with a yard. And a garage. In a nice neighborhood. With good schools. Within walking distance.

*Be a great wife.

Day 15

Day 15 - Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

This is fun! Except I don't have an Ipod. Actually, I think Ipod's are really lame. In general, I think Apple is really lame even though I kinda sorta almost but not really want a Macbook. That's only because sometimes I'm a follower and when every other photographer I know has a Mac, I want to follow. But as my husband has told me many many times, our PCs do what I need them to do, and he knows how to fix them when they don't do what we need them to do. This is getting off subject.

I don't have an Ipod. I sorta share a MP3 player with my husband, although, it really is his (a Valentine's Day gift - the necklace he bought me is way better...). Usually, when I want music, I turn my Blackberry or PC to Pandora and stream away. l love Pandora. Anyways, I DO have a playlist.com account where I store music for when I really need to listen to a certain song. So, I'll put that on shuffle and we'll see where we go. I have several different playlists on Playlist.com, however, I'm going to shuffle my "I go back" list and see if I can't dig up some memories.

1. "You'll think of me" Keith Urban

When I was living in Tucson, I had a boyfriend who was really a bad boyfriend to have. Not that he wasn't a good guy, because, for the most part, he was, but we were a bad couple. I don't like admitting that I used him, but I did - although I didn't realize it at the time. We had a lot of issues - most of which stemmed from the fact that I was in love with Chase and was only lying to myself trying to live a life without him. Anyways, when our relationship got to the worst points - right in the few months before I left Tucson - I listened to this song a lot. Mostly, I liked the part that said "Take your cat and leave my sweater" because we had a cat together, who I took. Anyways, I do think of him from time to time - we did have some great times, and he did mean a lot to me - but we are definitely better apart than together. He's one of the only guys from my past that I feel no reason to have a relationship with today - I have most of the others Facebooked - but, when I left Tucson, I left him behind, and he left me behind, and we moved on happily. Or at least, I hope he did.

2. "Little Black Back Pack" Stroke 9

I don't really think this song has any real meaning to me - except that my best friend, Mandy, introduced me to the song, and I loved it. I still do. That was a lot of years ago.

3. "Someday We'll Know" Mandy Moore, Jonathan Foreman

I used to really love Mandy Moore (well, I really still do actually), and I remember driving around in my first car, a 1990 blue Eclipse listening to this song. I listened to it a lot actually after I broke up with one my first "real" boyfriends, Adam. That was also a bad relationship (lol), but the song sort of fit at the time. It wasn't a bad breakup - "If I could ask God just one question...Why aren't you here with me? Someday we'll know, if love can move a mountain, someday we'll know, why the sky is blue. Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you." We were both young, and silly in "love" - although I soon found out that that love was really "puppy love." When we broke up, it was just because it wasn't working, we were young, and we wanted different things. We remained friends for awhile and although have lost touch over the years, this song will probably always remind me of him.

4. "It's Gonna Be Love" Mandy Moore

This is sort of embarrassing! I told you I loved Mandy Moore! :) This was one of my favorite songs around the time I was 15-16 or so. I remember that I had my own personal phone line (and answering machine of course) and the chorus of this song was the message on my machine. I was such a nerd. My answering machine was green though - cool, huh?

5. "I Go Back" Kenny Chesney

Well, isn't this song fitting?? My Mom bought me this CD for my last Easter at home. Oh - sorry - the Easter bunny bought me this CD. So this was a song of the last few months of my senior year, my last summer at home and my first few months in Phoenix. I always liked listening to it, and thinking about my past. It didn't really "fit" me, but it did get me thinking about certain songs that did make me go back. Some of which, I'm describing to you tonight. :) "Every time I hear that song, I go back. We all have a song that somehow stamped our lives - takes us to another place and time"

6. "Fake It" Seether

I think all I need to say about this song, is that it is another one from Tucson. I was a little messed up at that point of time in my life.

7. "Bouncing Off the Walls Again" Sugarcult

Oh, Ryan! I had a lot of boys in my life when I was a teenager...man! Ryan was a friend of mine - he was an "older, cooler, college guy" who took an interest in me because he thought he could solve my life problems for me, or something like that. I liked him more than I probably should have - but - he was always just a friend - and typically a phone friend since college wasn't near my house. He made me listen to this song one time - and I was hooked.

8. "Your Guardian Angel" Red Jump Suit Apparatus

Aww - this really isn't a blast from the past (or at least not the far past) but when Chase and I were discussing the playlist for our wedding, we didn't agree on much. Chase and I have VERY different tastes in music (seriously, who likes Modest Mouse??) Well, I was really frustrated with the whole process - I didn't feel like he was taking it seriously, and more than half of what he was suggesting was far from wedding music...and then he played this song - and I knew I could marry him. I love this song so much now that it's even a ringer on my phone. And...I'm trying to embrace his music more (but seriously, who likes Modest Mouse??)

9. "Welcome to my Life" Simple Plan

This is song is bad, bad memories for me. My lovely sister (she truly is lovely) bought me this CD for my first Christmas in Phoenix. I was missing home really bad. I was missing Chase really bad. I was missing high school really bad. I was not doing well in Phoenix. I had said bf who we discussed above - but - he (and his friends) were very different from me, and did very different things than I was used to. I didn't want to spend Christmas with them - I wanted to be home with my family. The kicker for me came Christmas night when they sat around on the driveway, with a bonfire in the middle, and smoked weed. I don't smoke. Ever. And certainly not pot. This was a ritual for them, and I was always uncomfortable...but Christmas? Who smokes weed on Christmas? Not me. So I got into my wonderful rental - a 2005 Nissan Altima with 500 miles on it - and drove circles on the 101 listening to this CD and talking...to Chase. He saved me. And I'll always love him for that.

10. "Bubbly" Colbie Caillat

I love this song. I used to sing this song to Hunter when he was a baby. I would tickle his little toes. It always makes me smile when I hear this song and I think about how little he was. "You give me feelings that I adore. They start in my toes, make me crinkle my noes. Wherever it goes, I always know. That you make smile, please stay for awhile now, just take your time, wherever you go"

This is fun. Can I keep going?

11. "Lucky" Jason Mraz, Colbie Caillat

This is our song. Me and Chase. We listened to this song dozens upon dozens of times while we practiced our dance. It took us forever and a day to decide on a song - but the first time I heard this song, I was hooked. I loved it. Chase didn't mind it. It was totally a winner! I do really feel like Chase is my best friend - he has saved me so many times. He's protected me when I didn't want to be protected. And I am lucky. I know I'm lucky. And I won't ever let go. And in fact - Chase is away this weekend, so I just sent him part of that song in a voice message. I'm such a nerd at 11:21 at night.

12. "Anything But Mine" Kenny Chesney

This is me being lame. It's about another boy (duh!). Jellybean. Jellybean was an important part of my life - he was sort of...I don't even know. He was one of the greatest people to ever come into my life. He showed me a lot about love - and how powerful love could be. There was a lot of hurt and a lot of emotion in our short relationship - but we came out on top - friends. Jellybean came along after one of the many Chase breakups - and he was the first person to get me to realize that I might have a life outside of Chase. We spent an amazing summer together at the end of my senior year. At the end of the day - we wanted different things from our relationship and we weren't right for each other right then. There's no doubt in my mind that had we come into each other's lives 5 years down the road that we wouldn't have been together forever. I truly did love him - and he's one of the two people that I can say that about. There's a plan for everything though, and my plan has always been Chase - but Jellybean showed me so much, and help me grow and experience life in a different way - and for that - I am so grateful.

Alright, I think I'll end there. It's late, and I think I went pretty far down memory lane. For tonight - know this - I miss my husband, and I can't wait until he comes home tomorrow. This weekend has been fun for Nut and I, but I'm ready to see Chase, ready for my hugs and kisses. It was a little bit of a hard weekend for me emotionally - and - I feel ready to talk to my husband about the things that have been hurting me lately - so hopefully he can see that my bad mood was sort of justified.

Slacker!

I really fell behind with blogging this week! My apologies!

The Nut is on fall break - which means no more "Mommy time" and Chase is out of town which really means no more "Mommy time" which in turn, means no more blogging time! I'm about to get us all caught up though!

Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends

I know - I'm such a cliche Mom - but seriously, this kid is my best friend, and those dogs...well, they are two of a kind and even though I'm almost always mad at them, I couldn't imagine my life without them! And yes - Hunter has no hair. That's a story for another day!

Day 12 - How you found out about blogs and why you made one

When I was in high school, I had a live journal account. For my circle of friends, it was the "cool" thing to do, although for me, it came naturally. I've always been journaling and writing. It was a small stretch for me to now share my journal with the world, but I overcame that easily and wrote about anything and everything. Fast forward a few years, and once my husband and I moved into our house, I opened a "family blog" because I knew that someday I would want to remember all the trivial things that happened in our daily life. You can read my very first blog entry here!

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

This is a hard one. I imagine I'm going to get emotional here because I'm going to have to dig deep and perhaps get raw. Here goes nothing I suppose...

Dear God -

I feel like You've let me down lately. I feel like I'm being tested - but I'm not sure why You need to test me in this way. I'm trying really hard to be a great wife, a great Mom - trying really hard to raise my family, grow my business and be everything to everybody. At the same time, I'm trying to give myself everything that I need and feel I deserve - but You're testing my ability to do that. Just this week - I was short with my husband, I cried tears that were unnecessary, I lost patience with my son, with my dogs, I was in a bad mood while doing things I love to do. And I can't help but blame You. I don't know why You're testing me like this. You have to be able to see how much it hurts me. I don't understand it. I want to - I pray to - I look to You for guidance and answers, but I feel like I'm not getting anything. I'm not sure how long I can continue on, holding my faith with You and feeling this hurt. I need to find some answers soon so I'm afraid I will stray from my faith. I don't want to, I really don't, but You're hurting me. My husband tries to be everything he can for me - my son is such a blessing - my life has SO many blessings and I think about those things - all those things that You've helped me achieved and have helped me find, and I am so grateful. But I've hurt my husband in this past year because of things I blame on You. You have to be able to see that I'm not handling it well. I can't test my marriage anymore than it's already been tested. I need to regain the ground I've lost, and be the wife I know I can be. I need Your help. I can not do this alone. I need you to help me get stronger. I'm trying to trust in that everything happens for a reason - but I need to find those reasons soon. Please help me to do that.

In Your name I pray,

Holly

Day 14 - A picture of you and your family

Minus my sister, brother-in-law, neice and nephew in Arizona, this is my family. They mean the world to me.

Day 09

Day 09 - Something you're proud of in the past few days

In the past month and a half, my husband and I have been concentrating on making our relationship better - on meeting each others needs, making each other happy, and really concentrating on us. I feel like in that time, we've made a lot of strides. Our home seems more harmonious now. We're definately giving more than we're taking. I'm proud of us for trying everyday to make each other happy and loved. I'm hoping we can continue the trend we've been on and learn how to once again put each other first and our marriage above all else.

Day 8

Day 08 - Short term goals for this month and why

Humpty Dumpty! I don't typically set "goals" at the beginning of months. Every month there are things I accomplish, but it's never really a "goal" as much as it is a "I need to accomplish this" and then I do it. I don't feel like there is a choice involved - it's just what I need to do that month.

In October I need to -

*Plan my son's 4th birthday party
*Finish editing the wedding I did last month
*Start blogging more
*Shampoo our carpets
*Start researching new beds for our soon to be 4 year old
*Book more photo shoots than normal as I am on nanny vacation this week
*Sell some stuff on Craigslist to reduce our clutter and make way for new birthday toys
*Get more involved at Hunter's school, and with the other parents
*Finish the Alex Cross series and start Harry Potter 7

Those will all be accomplished by the end of October if they haven't been accomplished already.

Day 7!

Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

This was Hunter when he was about a year and a half old (ignore the date - in March of 2004, I was about to graduate high school and certainly didn't have an 18 month old - my technologically behind Mother doesn't know how to change the date on her camera...)

Anyways, he is totally the one who has had the biggest impact on me - no questions asked. He forced me to grow up (in a good way), made my relationship with my husband stronger and more complete, and has really made me the person I am today. Without Hunter, who knows where I would be or what I would be doing - but I know that I would be missing out on some of the best moments of my life. He is truly the light of my life. And I can say all that because he's in bed and no longer asking 20 questions in 20 seconds.

:)

Day 6!

Day 06 - Favorite super hero and why

Hum de hum! This is a good question - and one I'm not sure I've ever considered before. I do have an almost 4 year old Superhero obsessed son, so I am "pretty" well-schooled in my heroes. Hunter is a big fan of the normal - Batman, Spiderman, Superman. He wanted me to be Batgirl for Halloween. He's requested a Spiderman cake for his birthday party this year. I'm just not sure that I have a favorite though...so, I decided instead to take a "Which Superhero are you quiz" to get my answer.

And I am...

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 85% Wonder Woman 80% Spider-Man 75% Robin 75% Green Lantern 75% Iron Man 75% Supergirl 65% The Flash 55% Catwoman 55% Hulk 50% Batman 40%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

So, which Superhero are you??

Day 5

Day 05 - A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

I've been out of our wonderful country only one time, and it was to go on a fabulous honeymoon with my amazing husband. We went to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic and had a blast. It was such a wonderful trip for us. Going back and digging up these pictures reminded me of just how close we were then. I'm happy, and proud, to say we're still as close today.

Become a Fan, Win a shoot!

Hey local friends! I'm having a challenge on my fan page on Facebook. If I can double my fans from now until the end of the year, a fan will win a FREE photo shoot and CD with the images in 2011! Become a fan here:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Denver-CO/Innovative-Images-Denver-Family-Photography/133493656901

Even if you're not local, become a fan and help those in Denver win a shoot!

Day 4

Day 04 - A habit that you wish you didn’t have

A little bit harder today! Having to admit to ones faults is never an easy task. I have small habits that don't typically hurt anyone other than myself - I bite and peel my nails (I know, who peels their nails, right?), and I chew my lips. Both are boredom habits.

A bigger habit that affects my family as well is I'm a tad addicted to my Blackberry and/or computer and/or digital reader. Sitting down and watching tv (which I tend to do a lot of in the fall, hah) drives me crazy - I can't just sit there and watch, even if it's my most favoritest show in the world, or, even football! I have to be checking emails, browsing Craigslist, hanging out on Facebook or more recently, Blogfrog, playing a Tetris-esq game on my cell phone, or reading a book on my digital reader. I can't just sit at any point in time without some type of device in my hands. I know it drives my husband crazy.

There are parts of me, and what I do, that mean I just can't toss my Blackberry aside. No, I don't need to be playing mindless games for hours at a time, but, I do like to have it somewhere in the vicinity, so when I get a work related email, I can get back to my clients in as timely of a manner as possible. I strongly dislike keeping people waiting long for a reply, although sometimes I do get so backed up, even my Blackberry can't help me out.

Sitting and relaxing and just being with my husband while we watch something on tv is something I am trying to work on though. What's your bad habit?

Day 3

Today is way easy!

Day 03 - A picture of you and your friends

This was taken at my bachelorette party. They are my three sisters - and the ones who have been the closest to me for the longest time. The one on the far right is not my "blood" sister, but, she's been there since I was 6, and is one of the most important people in my life.

I've been incredibly lucky over the past 4 years to have made some wonderful mommy friends with little ones - people who relate to my every day life, and have been there for me through some struggles...but these three will always take the cake. They are the best!

Day 2

Day 02 - The meaning behind your Blog name

It's pretty self explanatory - I started this blog with the intention of going out and finding followers all over the world as opposed to my tight-knit friends and family like my other blogs. It's had a slow start (business on my part mostly to blame). Anyways, I wanted something that people would be able to remember, that might draw in an audience - and well...we are a little bit crazy :).

30 days

Sometimes I need topics to get me going - throughout the day I think about things I'd like to write about, but by the time I have time to sit down and do it, the idea behind a post is gone, or has been thought through so much that it's no longer interesting to me. I've decided to take part of 30 days of blogging to get me climbing the ropes!

Today: Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

I don't know if I have a recent picture of myself, so I'll skip that for now - onto the facts!

- I love the smell of Cabbage Patch dolls. I have a few Cabbage Patch's boxed up, just so I can open the boxes every so often and take a whiff.

- I love to cook and bake - but I need a crowd to really get me going. I love making food for other people.

- I also love hosting parties. It's so much work, but I get so much enjoyment out of it. We don't do it nearly enough.

- I know more Wiggles songs than one could possibly imagine by heart. Sometimes, I burst into song when I'm all on my own. My son hasn't watched The Wiggles in 2 years, but the songs have stayed with me.

- My second toes is longer than my first.

- My house is usually a complete disaster, but I love to pretend it's clean.

- I want to own a little dog so badly, but I'm not "allowed."

- I've been obsessed with frogs since my early teens. I have tons of frog stuffed animals, figurines, and 2 live fire belly toads (which probably need fed now that I'm thinking about them...)

- I recently (as in a month+) painted my bedroom and bathroom after living in our white walled house for 2+ years. I'm now completely in love with both rooms and sometimes sit in one just to stare at the walls. They (as in the painted walls) make me incredibly happy.

- I can throw a football really well. I once pegged my sister in the head from 100 feet away.

- I crave Jimmy Johns on an hourly basis.

- I'm obsessed with Slurpees from 7-11. Mountain Dew and Cherry mixed together. $1.18 for a refill. I have two refill cups...just in case one is in the dishwasher.

- I get nervous when I'm alone. I'm always pretty sure someone is going to kill me.

- I will read over 100 books this year.

- I hate being cold, so I'm a little bit obsessed with all thing soft and warm. Blankets, socks, robes.

And now the picture - about 2 months ago at the Bronco/Steeler game with my husband.

Questioning Faith

I applaud and admire people who are so strong in their faith that the biggest tragedies only make them stronger. I am inspired by the good they can see out of terrible situations. I read their stories day after day, hoping and even praying that my faith can be that strong. But at this point, it's not, and it's something I try to work on every day.

I've never been a very religious person when it comes to organized religion. I have always had my beliefs and have chosen to live my beliefs in my life, with my family, and not in any other sort of group. I've tried churches and youth groups in the past, but just found that sharing my faith openly with others wasn't something I was comfortable with, and it may all stem from not be confident in my faith myself.

Lately, I've found myself questioning my faith, and my belief in God so much more than ever before. In the past year, I experienced a loss that made me look at myself, my life, and my faith. Since my loss, I had hope that I could grow stronger, and realize that everything happens for a reason, and that God has a plan. Unfortunately, it just hasn't happened that way.

I see and read about so many people struggling with infertility. People that will spend thousands and thousands of dollars on treatments in hopes of having a baby of their own. People who have heart wrenching stories about loss that I can't even try to comprehend. My husband and I have a wonderful little boy, and no plans in the immediate future to add to our family, but we did have a miscarriage last summer. Even though at the time, we were not trying for a baby, the feeling of that loss still carries with me today. I don't necessarily want another baby right now...but I want that baby -- so, so badly.

And then you read stories, and perhaps even have people in your own life, who don't cherish the babies in their life or can't provide for the babies they have. It's so hard for me to have faith in God when I see babies who didn't even have a chance from the start when there are so many people out there who would give anything to have a baby, or who were wonderful parents and have had a baby taken away. Why would God do this? To make you stronger? What about all those babies from 20 years ago in the same situation that are now either dead - on drugs - alcoholics - abusers - killers - robbers - or just repeating the same pattern and bringing another into this world.

I still have hope that I can increase my faith, and learn to trust that God has a greater plan. I want so badly to believe His journey for me is really that - His journey for me. I'm just really having trouble right now.

Remembering Kenzie

In early December last year, I found Kendra's blog, and was immediately drawn to her family, and her little angel, Makenzie. Days after I started looking for updates from Kendra hourly, Kenzie passed away and I was one of thousands who cried that day for The Webster Family. Kenzie was 4 months old. She was beautiful, amazing and incredibly loved.

Kenzie was only here for 4 months because of an awful disease I had never even heard of before - Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA). After hearing about Kenzie and praying for her hour after hour, and while continuing to this day to pray for her dear parents and family, I knew I needed to find out more about this disease. Thankfully, Kendra was very open about SMA and through her and my own research, I've found out about so many more tragic stories just like Kenzie's.

*SMA is the #1 genetic killer of young kids.

*It occurs in 1 out of 6000 births.

* 1 in 40 people carry the gene for SMA unknowingly. Most have no family history.

Babies with SMA are born perfectly healthy after perfect pregnancies. It isn't long before they start to deteriorate, however. SMA causes lower motor neurons in the spinal cord to break down and die. Without those neurons, the brain can not control the muscles, which causes the muscles to weaken. Eventually, these babies can not walk, eat, sit, stand, swallow or even breathe. While their bodies waste away, these babies remain to have brain functions that cause them to be alert and aware. Currently, there is no treatment or cure for SMA, but researches are very hopeful that with funding, a fix is just over the horizon. Babies with Type 1 SMA typically do not live to see 2. Kenzie didn't live to see 5 months.

The Webster's story breaks my heart every time I think about it. I understand that there are SO many diseases out there reaching for cures. I am a strong advocate for JDF as my nephew is a diabetic and has been since he was 2. But every time I hear about SMA and Kenzie, I want to DO something. Now. These babies aren't even given a chance. And, what's worse, IT COULD BE HELPED. They CAN have a chance. They CAN live a life. Their parents WILL see them grow up. They HAVE to. Research is pointing in ALL the right directions, they just need more funding, and maybe SMA will no longer be the #1 killer of young children. Maybe it will no longer BE the killer of children, and then we can focus our attention elsewhere. But for right now, SMA NEEDS to be cured. NOW. Before another child is taken before she should be. Before another parent sees the day The Websters have seen.

6 months after Kenzie passed, her parent's threw an amazing event to raise money for research. They had volunteers, donators, a great day! They raised over $15,000 for SMA research. $15,000!!!! Two parents who are ON A MISSION to make sure no other child has the same fate as their Kenzie. They have started MRW and every day, I watch from afar as they do great things in spite of their loss. They AMAZE me. They INSPIRE me. They are SO much stronger than I can ever imagine I will be, and I aspire to be as motivated, strong, and admirable as Kendra.

The least I can do is blog their story, pass on Kenzie's legacy, and HOPE and PRAY for a cure to this awful awful disease. Right now, YOU can help too. Please do. PLEASE take a minute of your day, and VOTE for the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation.

Go to www.voteforsma.com. VOTE for the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation. VOTE today. VOTE tomorrow. Vote EVERY DAY until September 29th.

And if you want to read Kenzie's story, please visit Kendra's blog. She will inspire you too. I promise.

Thanks for voting. Please KEEP voting. And spread the word.

We're home. Sort of.

We might be back in the comfort of our home (and bed) here in Colorado, but my body (mostly stomach) feel like we're still at Powell on a boat. Like these ones.

I still pretty much feel like I'm about to dive into the water...like our boating buddy, Lawson.

.

We had a blast hanging out with the Anderson gang and some good friends. Like Tim Tebow.

Too bad the Tim Tebow we hung out with isn't a rookie QB for our favorite football team.

No, his name isn't really Tim Tebow. Nutter's been a little bit obsessed with Tebow lately and told us that Tebow was going to Powell with us, so of course we had to play along.

Nut's favorite part of the trip? Definately hanging out on the jet ski!

Chase's favorite part of the trip?

Mine? Just relaxing with this in the background.

Hunter's cousin is pretty amazingly cute.

So are these two.

The 7 hour drive didn't even seem that bad since Hunter slept the majority of it. Now, if only I could get rid of my motion sickness, we'd be totally back to reality. Including, Hunter's first day of school which we just got home from!

Vac-ay at the Lak-ay

Or something like that!

Our family is leaving this evening to spend the rest of the week at one of my husband's favorite destinations - Lake Powell! As kids, we both ventured there (separately) many times, and as a couple, we've been there a few. Hunter has only been once though and he was only 7 months old.

Okay, technically, he's been twice, but the first time he was still in my stomach.

So, we're very excited to head back to the lake! Hunter is going to try water skiing for the first time (supposedly, I'm going to try too, but, I'm feeling some severe headaches coming on...)

Anyways, we'll be out for the rest of the week, but I thought a blog post was in order before than.

Today, a topic has struck my Facebook community about people posting pictures of other people without their permission. What does everyone else think about this?

The pictures in question are not the most flattering pictures, and are in fact being used as revenge against this person. While I don't necessarily condone this behavior, I have to say, if you're out in public, doing things in public you have to know people have cell phones at the ready to take pictures and video. Our world has become so digital that a video can make it onto YouTube within minutes of being shot. Pictures can be uploaded to Facebook the second you take them. There are definitely advantages and disadvantages to this, but I think as a whole, we need to be conscientious of the things we're doing in public places knowing that the chances of someone having a camera on us are great. As long as we know that the things we're doing reflect on the person we want to be, than there really shouldn't be a problem with this.

Off my soap box now, and on to the road! Have a great week everyone!

The Sony Reader PRS-600

Chase and I totally had a $50 Christmas limit last year. In fact, I spent WEEKS pondering what he was getting me that was so "wonderful" for under $50. Turns out...Chase did not spend $50. In fact, he spent $300. That's okay honey...it's only 6 times what you were suppose to spend. Ya know. No biggie...just a few bucks.

He was however VERY right when knowing that this was a gift I would ABSOLUTELY love. What did he get me?? Are you silly enough not to read the title??

A Sony Reader PRS-600. Which just so happens to be the touch version. The very cool $300 touch version ($279.00 on sale at Best Buy actually + tax..soo...$300.)


And he even got it in red. Because he knows I love red. How about that for hubby sweetness? The pocket edition comes in pink though. I was a little disappointed when I figured that out. I love pink even more than red. Oh well. My Blackberry is pink. Review for that coming soon.


On to the Sony!

My first impression of it was WOW. Not only could I carry around ALL my books at once, but, I could do it in STYLE, look cooler than I usually do (hard to do, I know), and, have access to so many more books than I did before. Anyone who knows me knows that I live inside my books. And now to be able to carry them all around with me all the time so I'm never without something to read? Sweet hubby of the year award being awarded to my husband. It's been revoked since Christmas though, no worries.

My favorite features of the Sony Reader PRS-600:

*It's red (duh). It also comes in silver and black. But not pink.
*It has a touch screen allowing you to easily change pages regardless on how your positioned
*It has a built in dictionary
*I can easily and cheaply purchase books from Sony's massive library. It's very easy to transfer the books to the Sony, although, it did take me half a minute to figure out. People in my parent's crowd may find themselves trying for 5 minutes or so.
*Access to lots of free books, which change periodically. I really love this because I've gotten a bunch of free books from there (sappy romance novels, I know, I'm a nerd). Free is awesome for me though, and I've actually enjoyed reading sappy romances.
* You can hand write notes and transfer them to your computer. I just think this is cool. Although I haven't found use for it yet. Key word, yet.
*You can download books from ANYWHERE, not just Sony's website. I've downloaded Cosmopolitan actually. And Popular Photography. And 101 Uses for A Condom. Popsicle anyone?
*It's lightweight. Portable. Easy to carry in my bag. I even take it to the gym. To the drive-through. To the doctors. To the line at the grocery store. To the movies. I take it everywhere...can you tell? It comes in at 10.1 ounces and 6.9" X 4.8" X 4". The screen is 6", giving you plenty of reading space. I don't find that I'm ever constantly changing the page.
*The screen can change from portrait to landscape. I've used both depending on what format I'm reading.
*Did I mention you can get books from anywhere? It supports a gaggle of formats. Adobe^® PDF⁵, Microsoft^® Word, BBeB Book^® and other text file formats, as well as EPUB/ACS4 and connection with Adobe Digital Editions⁴ Like those ones. Mostly, I like that it supports PDF's.
*It has expandable memory using either a SD card or a Memory Stick Pro Duo.
*It has adjustable font sizes. I happen to like it pretty small. That irritates my husband.
*You can highlight and make annotations using the built in pen.

Things I'm less than impressed with:
*It utilizes E-Ink, which is actually pretty cool. It makes it look more like a "book." You can tilt it at weird angles and still read it. My problem? The touch screen on the Sony gives it a weird glare. I can't always tilt it at weird angles and read it. If I had a reliable book light, that would perhaps be remedied as it seems to do better the more light you have. But for now, reading in bed at night is almost a little annoying.
*There's no easy way to see how far you have to the end of the chapter. I'm sure this is with all E-readers. I'm a person who thinks she'll read to the end of a chapter, but not knowing that the end of the chapter is 100 pages down the line means I've had a few late nights.
*It's appealing to yellow labs named Miley. One day, she drug it out of the night stand, went "chomp chomp", destroyed the case that came with it and put a few teeth marks in the lower right corner of my reader. I was more than a little mad as I'm sure you can imagine.
*The battery life (on mine at least) is no where near what Sony claims it to be. They say it can go roughly 2 weeks or 7,500 page turns. I find I need to charge it every 2-3 days if I'm really reading. Maybe 600-1000 page turns. I would send it back, but...well, see above. I'm pretty sure they are just going to tell me to get over myself because my dog ruined the battery life. But, for the record, the battery was no better before Miley got her grubby teeth on it.
*You can put MP3's on it. It doesn't have speakers, but does have a headphone jack. I haven't actually had a reason to test this out, but I think it's cool that if my husband's Sony Walkman ever breaks, I'll be able to use this as a home to my Glee 2 Soundtrack.

Overall, I would totally recommend the Sony. The price and color are right compared to others on the market. The touch screen is totally a cool, usable, highly functional, fun feature that sets it apart from others.

And once you get it, download some Jodi Picoult books for me, because she rocks!



Overall? My husband is super awesome for getting me one of these.